Connect Extra Deeply
I just lately gave a keynote speech entitled “Join Extra Deeply” on the Hope Global Discussion board in Atlanta, Georgia hosted by a non-profit referred to as Operation Hope. U.S Secretary of Treasury Jack Lew, Chelsea Clinton and Andrew Younger, one among Dr. Martin Luther King’s, Jr.’s lieutenants within the civil rights movement, had been just a few of the esteemed audio system.
Though I’ve given over 1,000 speeches or workshops in my speaking career, this speech was different. The visceral response caught me off guard. I had a girl literally apologize to me after my speech because she felt some of her colleagues had been disrespecting me as a result of they weren’t absolutely listening to my message. I’ve attached my edited speech transcript right here. Could it help you connect extra deeply with one person as we speak. You aren’t alone.
All of us attend conferences for different causes. Some of us come to listen to the headlining speakers. Others maybe need to get away for a number of days. Most of us, however, need to connect with someone you want to learn from, work with or work for. Tonight I will share three things we are able to all do to attach more deeply with each other.
Before I share these three issues, I first need to handle the two major explanation why we do not join extra deeply. It is as a result of we’re over-stimulated and hyper-connected. The culprit, the reason, the trigger is that this magical machine called a smartphone.
How many of us have this morning routine
Before we can even step out of our bed and even open each eyes, we roll over to the aspect, pick up our smartphones and begin checking our text messages, emails, tweets and Facebook likes and comments. All all through our day, from after we leave our house, to once we go to work, then lunch, then back to work, and finally again house, we’re consistently checking our smartphones all all through the day.
An Android app company named Locklet surveyed 150,000 customers and located that the average user checked their telephone one hundred ten instances during the day. Their excessive frequency customers, however, checked their phone 900 instances. [Audible gasps from the audience.] If there are a mean of sixteen waking hours that means these “high frequency customers” checked their telephones nearly 60 instances per minute!
We aren’t social media beings; we’re human beings. We aren’t LinkedIn beings; we’re human beings. And as much as Mark Zuckerberg desires us to be Facebook beings; we’re human beings.
Human beings join more deeply by sharing stories with each other.
That’s the primary lesson I’m going to share with you.
Lesson 1: Share Your Story
Discover ways to share your story in a powerful, passionate and poignant means. Maybe essentially the most inspiring story of all time is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He left such an indelible mark on my life that I named my firm KGL after him and two different visionaries. KGL stands for King, Gandhi, and Bruce Lee. I hold their ideals up day by day to remind myself of what to try toward with my clients, colleagues, and everyone I meet.
The rationale why his story is inspiring is as a result of we will see our own story in his life.
The first time I ever visited Atlanta was in April of 2000. I did not know at the time that Atlanta is where Dr. King was born. I had an opportunity to go to his dwelling on Auburn Avenue, walked over to Ebenezer Baptist Church where he was a pastor, and at last ended up at the King Middle where his tomb rests on high of a stone island in this stunning reflection pool.
As I stood there in entrance of Dr. King’s tomb, I read his epitaph, “Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929 – 1968 ‘Free eventually. Free eventually. Thank God Almighty I’m Free ultimately.'” I felt such a deep connection at that second because just six weeks prior I had quit my day job at American Specific where I labored at 40 Wall Road. I had put my residence up for sale and I was leaving my household and mates behind in New York City to maneuver to California where like Dr. King, I too had a dream. I needed to be a printed writer, speaker, entrepreneur and singer-songwriter. I had a lot fear and doubt and insecurity. I was so afraid but, in some way, standing in entrance of Dr. King’s presence gave me such strength, conviction and power. I used stone island jeans rent to be determined to succeed.
On Could 6, 2000, I got on a airplane and flew to San Francisco. Nine months later, I had completed and published my first e-book, a faculty success guide. A 12 months later, I moved all the way down to Los Angeles to be a singer-songwriter while concurrently building my enterprise as a speaker and consultant.
Eight years later in 2008, I had an opportunity to come back to the South however this time to Tennessee. I knew that Dr. King met his physical demise in Memphis, Tennessee. So though I used to be in Nashville, Tennessee co-writing a music, I determined to drive the 218 miles by myself to see The King. I wasn’t going to visit Elvis Presley’s Graceland, I was going to visit the Lorraine Motel the place Dr. King met his physical demise and that i additionally wished to visit the Charles Mason Temple Church where Dr. King gave his last speech entitled “I’ve been to the Mountaintop” the day before he handed away.
Once i arrived at the church at 2:30pm in the afternoon, the parking lot was not only closed, however it was gated shut, with a chain and pad lot, together with a security guard sitting in her automobile inside the parking lot. I walked as much as the gate and referred to as out to the safety guard. “Hello, I am out of town and i just drove three hours to get here. Is this the church the place Dr. King gave his last speech before he died ” The security guard seemed confused and uncertain. So she took out her phone and called someone to ask. Moments later she said, “Sorry, this is not the church.”
I couldn’t imagine her words. I’m nearly positive I had researched the best church and since I had simply driven 218 miles to see this church I was perplexed.
As I walked away from her, I determined to walk along the side of the church to the entrance entrance. At one level, I appeared up along with the church wall and observed an enormous plague that learn, “This edifice is the location of the last address of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.”
I had discovered the best place. The security guard just didn’t know.
In 2000, I had a dream and i stood at Dr. King’s tombstone not figuring out how my path would prove. Then by 2008, I was dwelling my dream when i visited Memphis, Tennessee and once i sat within the sanctuary at the Charles Mason Temple Church I had an opportunity to thank and connect with Dr. King again.
Now eight years later, 16 years after coming right here for the first time, I am here talking to you all. Goals are attainable. Desires are real. You may dwell your desires.
The primary lesson to attach extra deeply is to share your personal and professional story.
Lesson 2: Listen More Deeply
The second lesson I need to share is about listening. The Chinese language have a phenomenal language. The Chinese language character for pay attention has 5 distinct elements. On the left hand aspect, it’s the character for ears. But on the precise hand side, it is damaged up into 4 characters which individually mean “you”, “eyes”, “one”, and “heart.” Whenever you listen, you ought to be specializing in one individual and you aren’t just listening along with your ears. You are additionally listening along with your eyes but most importantly with your heart.
Listen along with your coronary heart.
Lesson three: Find the most common Denominators
The last lesson I will share is about easy math. After we add two fractions collectively like 1/2 and 1/3 you can’t add them collectively until you find the most common denominator. On this case, 6 is the commonest denominator. Once we find a typical denominator, we are able to add 1/2 and 1/3 collectively to equal 5/6.
Why can we as a folks deal with our differences and count on us to get along I just flew into Atlanta a number of hours in the past after attending an event at the White Home. Sitting next to me during my flight was a girl named Carrell. If I centered on our variations there would be many: Carrell was white and I am Asian. Carrell is from the South and that i dwell in California. Carrell is a woman and I’m a man. Carrell is a retired psychologist and has been married three times. I am still working and have never been married.
As a substitute of focusing on all these variations, we shared a lot in common. We both loved to travel, assist folks, and share stories. She spoke about her journey to Italy final 12 months and I mentioned how I was flying to Atlanta to provide a keynote speech. We had such an amazing dialog because even though we had so many seemingly outward differences, we chose to give attention to our frequent denominators.
I want to finish with one final story. When i attended the Clinton World Initiative Annual Assembly final year in New York, former President Bill Clinton had a closing plenary session where he interviewed a NASA astronaut named Cady Coleman whereas concurrently Skype calling two astronauts – one American and one Russian – on the International House Station. When President Clinton asked Coleman about her experience in house, she merely stated, “In area, when you are looking down there aren’t any nations. It’s one place and we’re all from there.”
To summarize, in order for you to connect more deeply, give attention to sharing your personal story in a powerful and memorable method. Hear not simply with your ears however together with your eyes and most importantly along with your coronary heart. And lastly, deal with finding the most typical denominators when you need to attach with someone.
Lastly, please turn this off extra [holding up my smartphone] throughout the day.
Christopher Kai is founder and CEO of KGL, a strategic-consulting agency that helps c-level executives and sales professionals with personal branding, disruptive marketing, and enterprise growth methods. He is a company speaker, consultant, and writer.