Chuck Norris Vs. Mario
All the earth held their breath. The spectacle was about to start. A storm churned above Time Square, New York, as if nature herself had come to witness the nice event. The town had been abandoned in worry, however that didn’t stop each man, girl, and child from huddling round their Tv screens to look at the live streaming of this colossal second.
A Clash of Titans.
A Battle for the Ages.
A War between two great Powers.
The ultimate Showdown.
The cameras zoomed in on a brief, thick determine, approaching from the one aspect of the street. He wore dirty overalls and a white shirt over his bulging, muscular body. Thick brows and a darkish mustache framed his face. A purple hat was cocked sideways on his head, a robust M emblazoned in its front.
A pre-recorded voice sounds over every speaker.
“Introducing, the Defender of Mushroom Kingdom, Bane of Bowser, Husband of Princess Peach, The Nintendo OG, Tremendous MARIO!!!”
Across the world, people cheered. In stone island 571540222 stadiums, city squares, dwelling rooms, resorts, and ready rooms, they roared their approval.
Mario executed a majestic front-flip, then winked on the camera. As one, each girl on Earth swooned.
The cameras then modified their focus to a different man, coming from the alternative direction. He wore a brown vest and ripped blue denims. His powerful eyes glared out from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat. A goatee of pure power bristled along his stone-set face.
The ladies began to swoon once extra.
“Introducing, the Walker Texas Ranger! Inventor of the Spherical Home Kick! Undefeated martial arts warrior! 77 time recipient of the Manliest Man Alive Award. The man who created the Grand Canyon simply by skydiving…Roadhouse…CHUCK NORRIS!!”
Norris pulled a machine gun from beneath his jacket and leveled it at Mario.
“BEGIN!!” The voice roared.
Mario took off at an uncannily quick sprint, working headlong into the barrage of bullets coming in his route. With ridiculous agility, he leaped in the air and continued to run upon the metal, impossibly hopping from round to round with out slowing in tempo. With one ultimate flip he introduced his fist across Chuck’s chin.
Norris took the blow just like the man he’s, then, grabbing Mario by the wrist, spun and hurled him via the window of a close by automobile. He open fired, and the bullets collided with the plumber as he started to scramble to his toes.
Thankfully, the rounds struck Mario within the mustache, which caught them, absorbing the metal. A stream of fire leaped from the man’s small fingers, roaring towards Norris. Nonetheless, upon seeing the ranger’s highly effective demise glare, the blaze parted around him, and burned the building behind him to the ground as a substitute.
“Let’s go.” Grunted the gruff American hero.
The two titans charged, their fists colliding with each other in the center of the street. The ensuing shock wave that emanated forth flattened the entirety of recent York City and shattered every pane of glass on the planet. The world over, folks panicked as their Television’s erupted into tens of millions of pieces as they looked on in terror.
To the mortal eye, what adopted subsequent was a violent blur of brown and purple, a horrible flaming twister of chaotic battle. Had been the viewer somehow capable of seeing sights a thousand, nay, one million instances quicker than the average eye, then he would observe the best match-up that ever occurred. Norris’ martial arts superiority was evident, his good kicks, punches and throws adopted one after the other with ridiculous smoothness. But Tremendous Mario was a creature of velocity and agility. He leaped and flipped about with a practiced quickness that might stone island 571540222 put any gymnast to absolute shame. He rained powerful strike after powerful strike during his whirlwind of movement.
Chuck narrowed his eyes and calculated the plumber’s flight path. He spun on his heel and launched the signature roundhouse kick. A sonic boom rang out as the foot collided with Mario and broke the sound barrier concurrently.
Earlier than the Defender of Mushroom Kingdom may blink he was soaring head over heels above the Atlantic Ocean, the brand new York coastline fading away. With a flick of Mario’s will, his trusty purple cap sprouted eagle’s wings. He turned in a loop and sped back towards the city.
He had nearly reached Ellis Island when he noticed his opponent riding a Killer Whale in his direction, shaking his fist defiantly as he rode the waves. Mario circled, launching fireball after fireball at the foe beneath. The hearth barely singed Norris’ jacket (and did not do a thing to his sponsored Levi’s blue jeans), but the whale screamed in agony and sunk within the flames. Chuck jumped from the creatures again, kung fu place assumed, he hurtled straight in direction of Mario four hundred feet up.
With a roar, Mario modified his fist to steel and struck Norris, sending him into the crown of the Statue of Liberty (and ensuing within the demise of the entire monument). But, by no means lacking a step, the mighty Texas Ranger quickly started to hurl rubble and debris within the flying Italian’s path. The torch found its mark, and Mario hit the bottom.
The little plumber crawled out of the hole style snow-angel he’d created upon impression, his huge, hairy chest was now uncovered as his ripped overalls fell off his smoking form. Groping by his pockets, he discovered half a dozen smashed mushrooms in a zip lock bag. He popped the entirety of it in his mouth, chewing up the plastic and fungi alike along with his titanium teeth.,
Norris emerged from the rubble epically. Seeing Mario had misplaced his shirt, he too shed his vest, revealing that perfect physique that only Complete Gym Home Workout Station can produce. After all, he did not remove his cowboy hat.
The mushrooms quickly did their work on Mario, and he started to develop in size at an alarming price. Even Chuck stood in awe for a second as the formerly small man grew to fifty feet tall. The fireballs on his fingers were the dimensions of homes. The bottom crackled underneath his feet.
But his opponent was not but completed. With an epic whinny, a horse appeared beneath Norris. The man gave an American yell and galloped ahead to satisfy the enormous.
What followed cannot be correctly described by phrase, written or verbal. How can such a battle be spoken of Shall I inform of the best way the rider struck the gigantic Mario’s knees Or of how he skilfully evaded blasts of heat Shall I speak of how, defying all laws of physics, he galloped up the facet of his opponent’s physique Or perhaps how Mario then seized horse and rider, hurling them towards the sea. That was the tip of the steed, but Norris gave a magnificent leap and collided with the gigantic sternum, swinging from chest hair to chest hair as he struck every uncovered inch of pores and skin.
Finally, with a scream of pain, Mario reverted to regular measurement, and both men hit the ground.
Birds began to circle around Ellis Island, as did the clouds. Lightning flashed overhead.
Chuck drew a searching knife.
Mario withdrew a hulking warhammer of bronze.
The plumber wielded the hammer as if it weighed nothing. He spun and jumped, spinning and placing with the deadly instrument. Seven times his instrument of doom fell, and seven instances Norris was slammed with power equal to that of a nuclear blast…just sufficient to dent his abs of steel. In response, he gashed at Mario together with his blade, carving a number of bloody furrows into his arms and shoulders.
By some chance the knife and hammer made contact, and both shattered. The earth trembled.
“It’s-a-oveer” Hissed Mario in his Italian Dialect, “You are-a-crushed. I am invincible.”
“Prove it, punk.” Spat Norris.
Mario reached up in direction of the heavens, and the sky split in two. Above him circled twelve blazing balls of power: the mighty Star Spirits. Lightning descends, overwhelming the small plumber. A second passes, and instead of the small man is a churning mass of energy, reflecting each colour, imaginable or otherwise. A hideous sort of melody ground itself into existence from the very air itself. The being Mario had turn out to be crackled with invincibility.
However Chuck had a few tricks up his own sleeve.
With a roar, he took off at full pace. His sprint was so fast that he was able to run around the planet and roundhouse kick himself in the back, imbuing him with energy indescribable.
“I AM The good CHUCK!!!”
“IT’S A ME! A-MARIO!!”
The power of the bellows ended it…not the duel…the earth. The planet erupted from the energy overload. The environment was ripped apart by pure sound. Everyone perished…everyone that’s, save Mario and Chuck Norris.
All matter on the earth started to swirl around the 2 combatants as they met as soon as more. A cosmic arena of pure celestial fire blazed into existence. The universe itself bent inward, as if it had been a bowl, and the battle had been its backside. All of reality rushed downward in direction of the 2. A black gap of grinding, infinite mass was sucked in a surreal sphere around the 2 beings. Mild distorted itself as the cosmic spectacle reached a climax.
Now we truly reach a point the place no human can cross. The might displayed there would put the gods of Olympus themselves to shame.
The two moved with speed unnatural, incomprehensible. In the event you noticed this sight, O reader, you can be all of the sudden blinded with the sheer scope of the occasion.
After which, abruptly, the universe may no longer comprise it. Reality itself tore, shattered, splintered apart on the very seams. All that’s, was, and ever can be was made into a big black hole.
Both males fell into the warp, the lightning flickering about them fading into nothingness. The horrible music and light from Mario vanished. Norris’ cowboy hat was incinerated. Both fell right into a vat of gravitational destruction.
All was silence.
After which, for centuries, for millenia, for time unknown, each infinite and instant as warped by the universal anomalies, there was nothing.
The black gap exploded. A brand new universe formed. Earth was recreated, each man lady and little one returned to their actual place as before the battle, with no reminiscence of it, nothing was left to commemorate the battle save a black hole
And forth from the black gap rode a lone determine on a horse.
He wore a jacket and blue jeans, a Smith and Weston revolver at his aspect. On his head was a rugged cowboy hat. On his face, the manliest goatee of all.
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