Chuck Norris Vs. Mario
All the earth held their breath. The spectacle was about to start. A storm churned above Time Square, New York, as if nature herself had come to witness the nice event. The town had been abandoned in concern, however that didn’t stop each man, woman, and child from huddling round their Tv screens to look at the live streaming of this colossal second.
A Clash of Titans.
A Battle for the Ages.
A War between two nice Powers.
The ultimate Showdown.
The cameras zoomed in on a brief, thick determine, approaching from the one side of the street. He wore dirty overalls and a white shirt over his bulging, muscular body. Thick brows and a darkish mustache framed his face. A purple hat was cocked sideways on his head, a robust M emblazoned in its front.
A pre-recorded voice sounds over every speaker.
“Introducing, the Defender of Mushroom Kingdom, Bane of Bowser, Husband of Princess Peach, The Nintendo OG, Super MARIO!!!”
Across the world, individuals cheered. In stadiums, city squares, residing rooms, lodges, and waiting rooms, they roared their approval.
Mario executed a majestic front-flip, then winked at the camera. As one, each lady on Earth swooned.
The cameras then modified their focus to another man, coming from the other course. He wore a brown vest and ripped blue denims. His highly effective eyes glared out from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat. A goatee of pure power bristled alongside his stone-set face.
The girls began to swoon once extra.
“Introducing, the Walker Texas Ranger! Inventor of the Round House Kick! Undefeated martial arts warrior! 77 time recipient of the Manliest Man Alive Award. The man who created the Grand Canyon just by skydiving…Roadhouse…CHUCK NORRIS!!”
Norris pulled a machine gun from underneath his jacket and leveled it at Mario.
“BEGIN!!” The voice roared.
Mario took off at an uncannily fast sprint, working headlong into the barrage of bullets coming in his route. With ridiculous agility, he leaped in the air and continued to run upon the steel, impossibly hopping from spherical to round with out slowing in tempo. With one ultimate flip he brought his fist across Chuck’s chin.
Norris took the blow like the man he’s, then, grabbing Mario by the wrist, spun and hurled him by means of the window of a nearby automobile. He open fired, and the bullets collided with the plumber as he began to scramble to his toes.
Thankfully, the rounds struck Mario in the mustache, which caught them, absorbing the steel. A stream of hearth leaped from the man’s small palms, roaring towards Norris. Nevertheless, upon seeing the ranger’s powerful demise glare, the blaze parted round him, and burned the building behind him to the bottom as an alternative.
“Let’s go.” Grunted the gruff American hero.
The two titans charged, their fists colliding with one another in the center of the street. The ensuing shock wave that emanated forth flattened the entirety of latest York City and shattered each pane of glass on the planet. Internationally, people panicked as their Television’s erupted into tens of millions of pieces as they appeared on in terror.
To the mortal eye, what followed subsequent was a violent blur of brown and purple, a terrible flaming tornado of chaotic battle. Have been the viewer one way or the other capable of seeing sights a thousand, nay, 1,000,000 instances faster than the average eye, then he would observe the greatest match-up that ever occurred. Norris’ martial arts superiority was evident, his good kicks, punches and throws followed one after the other with ridiculous smoothness. However Super Mario was a creature of velocity and agility. He leaped and flipped about with a practiced quickness that might put any gymnast to absolute shame. He rained powerful strike after powerful strike during his whirlwind of motion.
Chuck narrowed his eyes and calculated the plumber’s flight path. He spun on his heel and launched the signature roundhouse kick. A sonic growth rang out as the foot collided with Mario and broke the sound barrier simultaneously.
Before 589b1 stone island the Defender of Mushroom Kingdom could blink he was soaring head over heels above the Atlantic Ocean, the new York coastline fading away. With a flick of Mario’s will, his trusty red cap sprouted eagle’s wings. He turned in a loop and sped again in the direction of the town.
He had nearly reached Ellis Island when he noticed his opponent riding a Killer Whale in his direction, shaking his fist defiantly as he rode the waves. Mario circled, launching fireball after fireball at the foe beneath. The fire barely singed Norris’ jacket (and didn’t do a thing to his sponsored Levi’s blue denims), but the whale screamed in agony and sunk in the flames. Chuck jumped from the creatures back, kung fu place assumed, he hurtled straight in direction of Mario 4 hundred feet up.
With a roar, Mario changed his fist to steel and struck Norris, sending him into the crown of the Statue of Liberty (and ensuing in the demise of all the monument). But, never missing a step, the mighty Texas Ranger rapidly started to hurl rubble and debris within the flying Italian’s path. The torch discovered its mark, and Mario hit the ground.
The little plumber crawled out of the hole style snow-angel he’d created upon impact, his massive, furry chest was now uncovered as his ripped overalls fell off his smoking form. Groping by way of his pockets, he discovered half a dozen smashed mushrooms in a zip lock bag. He popped the entirety of it in his mouth, chewing up the plastic and fungi alike along with his titanium teeth.,
Norris emerged from the rubble epically. Seeing Mario had lost his shirt, he too shed his vest, revealing that good physique that only Total Gym Home Workout Station can produce. After all, he didn’t take away his cowboy hat.
The mushrooms shortly did their work on Mario, and he began to grow in size at an alarming rate. Even Chuck stood in awe for a moment because the formerly small man grew to fifty feet tall. The fireballs on his hands were the size of homes. The bottom crackled beneath his feet.
However his opponent was not but completed. With an epic whinny, a horse appeared beneath Norris. The man gave an American yell and galloped ahead to fulfill the enormous.
What adopted cannot be correctly described by word, written or verbal. How can such a battle be spoken of Shall I inform of the way in which the rider struck the gigantic Mario’s knees Or of how he skilfully evaded blasts of heat Shall I communicate of how, defying all laws of physics, he galloped up the facet of his opponent’s physique Or maybe how Mario then seized horse and rider, hurling them towards the sea. That was the tip of the steed, but Norris gave a magnificent soar and collided with the gigantic sternum, swinging from chest hair to chest hair as he struck every uncovered inch of pores and skin.
Finally, with a scream of pain, Mario reverted to regular dimension, and each men hit the ground.
Birds began to circle around Ellis Island, as did the clouds. Lightning flashed overhead.
Chuck drew a searching knife.
Mario withdrew a hulking warhammer of bronze.
The plumber wielded the hammer as if it weighed nothing. He spun and jumped, spinning and placing with the deadly instrument. Seven times his instrument of doom fell, and seven instances Norris was slammed with power equal to that of a nuclear blast…just sufficient to dent his abs of steel. In response, he gashed at Mario together with his blade, carving a number of bloody furrows into his arms and shoulders.
By some chance the knife and hammer made contact, and both shattered. The earth trembled.
“It’s-a-oveer” Hissed Mario in his Italian Dialect, “You are-a-crushed. I am invincible.”
“Prove it, punk.” Spat Norris.
Mario reached up in the direction of the heavens, and the sky cut up in two. Above him circled twelve blazing balls of power: the mighty Star Spirits. Lightning descends, overwhelming the small plumber. A second passes, and instead of the small man is a churning mass of energy, reflecting each shade, imaginable or otherwise. A hideous form of melody ground itself into existence from the very air itself. The being Mario had grow to be crackled with invincibility.
But Chuck had just a few tips up his personal sleeve.
With a roar, he took off at full pace. His sprint was so quick that he was in a position to run across the planet and roundhouse kick himself in the again, imbuing him with energy indescribable.
“I AM The great CHUCK!!!”
“IT’S A ME! A-MARIO!!”
The drive of the bellows ended it…not the duel…the earth. The planet erupted from the power overload. The atmosphere was ripped apart by pure sound. Everybody perished…everybody that is, save Mario and Chuck Norris.
All matter on the earth began to swirl around the two combatants as they met once more. A cosmic enviornment of pure celestial fireplace blazed into existence. The universe itself bent inward, as if it had been a bowl, and the battle had been its bottom. All of reality rushed downward in the direction of the two. A black hole of grinding, infinite mass was sucked in a surreal sphere round the two beings. Light distorted itself as the cosmic spectacle reached a climax.
Now we actually attain a point the place no human can cross. The would possibly displayed there would put the gods of Olympus themselves to disgrace.
The 2 moved with pace unnatural, incomprehensible. If you happen to saw this sight, O reader, you can be out of the blue blinded with the sheer scope of the occasion.
And then, unexpectedly, the universe could now not include it. Actuality itself tore, shattered, splintered apart on the very seams. All that is, was, and ever might be was made into a huge black gap.
Each men fell into the warp, the lightning flickering about them fading into nothingness. The horrible music and gentle from Mario vanished. Norris’ cowboy hat was incinerated. Each fell right into a vat of gravitational destruction.
All was silence.
After which, for centuries, for millenia, for time unknown, both infinite and instant as warped by the common anomalies, there was nothing.
The black gap exploded. A new universe formed. Earth was recreated, every man girl and child returned to their precise position as earlier than the battle, with no reminiscence of it, nothing was left to commemorate the battle save a black hole
And forth from the black gap rode a lone determine on a horse.
He wore a jacket and blue denims, a Smith and Weston revolver at his facet. On his head was a rugged cowboy hat. On his face, the manliest goatee of all.